Think Big Have Confidence

These three simple actions automatically and instantaneously banish shyness. Confident action produces confident thinking. So, to think confidently, act confidently. Act the way you want to feel. Below are five confidence-building exercises. Read these guides carefully. Then make a conscious effort to practise them and build your confidence.

Be a Front Seater

Ever notice in meetings-in church, classrooms and other kinds of assemblies - how the back seats fill up first? Most folks scramble to sit in the back rows so they won't be "too conspicuous." And the reason they are afraid to be conspicuous is, that they lack confidence. Sitting up front builds confidence. Practise it. From now on make it a rule to sit as close to the front as you can. Sure you may be a little more conspicuous in the front but remember there is nothing inconspicuous about success.

Practise Making Eye Contact

How a person uses his eyes tells us a lot about him. Instinctively, you ask yourself questions about the fellow who doesn't look you in the eye. "What's he trying to hide? What's he afraid of? Is he trying to put something over on me? Is he holding something back?" Usually, failure to make eye contact says one of two things. It may say, "I feel weak beside you. I feel inferior to you. I'm afraid of you." Or avoiding another person's eyes may say, "I feel guilty. I've done something or I've thought something that I don't want you to know. I'm afraid if I let my eyes connect with yours, you'll see through me." You say nothing good about yourself when you avoid making eye contact. You say, "I'm afraid, I lack confidence." Conquer this fear by making yourself look the other person in the eyes. Looking the other person in the eye tells him, "I'm honest and above board. I believe in what I'm telling you. I'm not afraid. I'm confident." Make your eyes work for you. Aim them right at the other person's eyes. It not only gives you confidence. It wins your confidence, too.

Walk 25 Percent Faster

When I was a youngster, just going to town was a big treat. After all the errands were accomplished and we were back in the car, my mother would often say, "Davey, let's just sit here a while and watch the people walk by." Mother was an excellent game player. She'd say, "See that fellow. What do you suppose is troubling him?" Or, "What do you think that lady there is going to do?" or, "Look at, that person. He just seems to be in a fog." Watching people walk and move about became really fun. It was a lot cheaper than the movies (which was one of the reasons I learned later that Mother developed the game) and it was a lot more instructive. I still am a walk-watcher. In corridors, lobbies, and on sidewalks I still occasionally find myself studying human behaviour simply by watching people move about. Psychologists link slovenly postures and sluggish walking to unpleasant attitudes towards oneself, work and the people around us. But psychologists also tell us you can actually change your attitudes by changing your posture and speed of movement. Watch and you discover that body action is the result of mind action. The extremely beaten person, the real down-and-outers, just shuffle and stumble along. They have zero self-confidence.

Average people have the "average" walk. Their pace is "average." They have the look of "I really don't have very much pride in myself." Then there's another group. Persons in this group show super-confidence. They walk faster than the average. There seems to be a slight sprint in the way they walk. Their walk tells the world, "I've got someplace important to go, something important to do. What's more; I will succeed at what I will do 15 minutes from now. Use the walk-25-per-cent-faster technique to help build self-confidence. Throw your shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead just a little faster and feel your self-confidence grow. Just try and see.

Practise Speaking Up

In working with many kinds of groups of all sizes, I've watched many persons with keen perception and much native ability freeze and fail to participate in discussions. It isn't that these folks don't want to get in and wade with the rest. Rather, it's a simple lack of confidence. The conference clam thinks to himself, "My opinion is probably worthless. If I say something I'll probably look foolish. I'll just say nothing. Besides, the others in the group probably know more than I do. I don't want others to know how ignorant l am. Each time the conference clam fails to speak, he feels even more inadequate, more inferior. Often he makes a faint promise to himself (that down deep he knows he won't keep) to speak "next time."

This is very important, each time our clam fails to speak; he takes one more dose of confidence poison. He becomes less and less confident in himself. But on the positive side, the more you speak up, the more you add to your confidence and the easier it is to speak up the next time speak up. It's a confidence-building vitamin. Put this confidence builder to use. Make it a rule to speak up at every open meeting you attend. Speak up, and say something voluntarily at every business conference, committee meeting, or community forum you attend. Make no exception. Comment, make a suggestion, and asks a question. Never worry about looking foolish. You won't. For each person who doesn't agree with you, the odds are another person will.

Smile Big

Most folks have heard at one time or another that a smile will give them a real boost. They've been told that a smile is an excellent medicine for confidence deficiency. But lots of people still don't really believe this because they've never tried smiling when they feel fear. Make this little test. Try to feel defeated and smile big at the same time. You can't. A big smile gives you confidence. A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry, and defeats despondency. And a real smile does more than cure just your ill feeling. A real smile melts away the opposition of others-and instantly, too. Another person simply can't be angry with you if you give him a big, sincere smile. Just the other day, a little incident happened to me that illustrates this. I was parked at an intersection waiting for the light to change when BAM! The driver behind me let his foot slip the brake and put my rear bumper to a test. I looked back through my mirror and saw him getting out. I got out too and forgetting the rule book, started preparing myself for verbal combat. I confess I was ready verbally to bite him to pieces.

But, fortunately, before I got this chance, he walked up to me, smiled and said in the most earnest voice, "Friend, I really didn't mean to do that." That smile matched with his sincere comment melted me. I mumbled something about "That's okay. Happens all the time." Almost in less time than it takes to wink an eye, my opposition turned into friendship. Smile big and you feel like "happy days are here again." But smile big. A half-developed smile is not fully guaranteed. Smile until your teeth show. That large-size smile is fully guaranteed.

I've heard many times, "Yes, but when I fear something or when I'm angry, I don't feel like smiling, of course, you don't. No one does. The trick is to tell yourself forcefully, "I'm going to smile." Then smile. Harness the power of smiling.

Click here to view a video that explains three tips to boost your confidence.