Dealing with Conflict via Constructive Disagreement

Mention the work “conflict” and most people think of fights, riots or war. In fact, on just about every day of every year one can find approximately two dozen armed combat situations somewhere in the world. But these extreme situations represent only the most violent expressions of conflict. During a typical meeting you may encounter more subtle and non-violent types of conflict such as arguments, criticism and disagreement.

If you don’t like the idea, say so in a way that does not close down the conversation but, rather provides a way to keep it going. This has three elements.

Like: What I do like about your suggestion is….

But: What I have a problem with, however, is…

Move on: How would it work if…

Example:

A lot of changes have taken place in your office. New equipment is coming in and space is at a premium. Bob has an idea about where to put a computer printer. He says: Why don’t we put the printer in the training room? This place is getting too cramped to work in.

Jaco replies: What I like about your idea is that it gives us some more useable office space. What I have a problem with is that it won’t be available if someone is using the training room. How would it work if we move some of these filing cabinets, which we don’t use much into the training room and put the printer in their space?