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Values, Beliefs and Emotions
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Albert Ellis points out that most people think that events cause emotional consequences and that we have little or no control over the process.
Example:
Values
We all have underlying values and beliefs in our lives. These were constructed in our sub-conscious minds over years – since we were born. Your values form the centre of your being. You may not think about it often but it sub-consciously guides your actions and behaviour. Values guide our needs in life – what we want and how to get it. They are so deeply embedded in our system that it tends not to change easily in a life time.
Values could include aspects such as academic achievements, money, status, family, religion, culture, health, sport/exercising, personal achievement, love/affection, acceptance, success, people, relationships, etc.
Beliefs
Beliefs can be described as the ‘truths’ that you construct about how life should work/not work. These have been formed over years and you tend to be deeply convinced about the beliefs that you hold about life. You also hold strong beliefs about yourself. Everyone has both positive and negative beliefs about themselves. Beliefs are embedded in the sub-conscious and conscious minds and you may or may not be able to identify these easily. Sometimes we also do not acknowledge these as we may believe that it is not appropriate in other’s viewpoints – however, it will still guide your thinking and feelings. Example: “I have to be the best to be accepted by others” or “Only the best is good enough”, or “The world is a bad place.”
How do values and beliefs influence your emotions?
|
Event |
Value |
Belief |
Emotion |
|
Someone criticizes a job you have done. |
Your Job |
I am OK |
Neutral
|
|
Someone criticizes a job you have done. |
Status |
I must be the best |
Upset Angry |
|
Someone criticizes a job you have done. |
Success |
I must perform to be acceptable |
Discouraged Humiliated Rejected |
|
Someone criticizes a job you have done. |
Relationships |
I am not good at anything |
Ashamed Humiliated |
Your interpretation about an event will be determined by how the event touches on your values and beliefs. The more important the value that it touches on – the more severe your inner-reaction would be; either positive or negative. Your beliefs about life would also directly impact how you will react. The way in which you interpret the situation will result in an emotion or reaction.
One could therefore say that it is not the event that causes the emotion, but the way in which you think about it.