Handling Difficult People

The saying goes, "It takes all types to make a world." In the workplace, some of these types will be difficult to deal with:

Bullies

These people have learned to get their way by being aggressive. They attack and try to overwhelm co-workers with argument, unpleasant remarks and put-downs. They are convinced that their way is the only way and that their opinion is the only valid one. When they do not get their way, they throw temper tantrums. When someone expresses an opposite opinion, they launch into heated arguments. To cope with such hostile and aggressive people, you should neither run nor fight. First, stand up for yourself. Do not let them push you around. If they interrupt you or blast your ideas, politely but firmly put them in their place. If they react by starting a heated argument, do not let them suck you into it. Hold off while they are ranting and raving until they wear down. When they become more rational, interrupt them and continue with your point of view. Never argue with or insult them. Bullies usually leave you alone when you stand up to them calmly.

Complainers

These people are always displeased with one thing or another. Yet, they usually do little to remedy the situation. They either refuse to take responsibility or feel powerless. They accuse co-workers of not doing their jobs right, violating company rules and so on, but rarely to their faces. To cope with complainers, listen to them attentively until you get the gist of their complaints. Acknowledge their views but never agree with them. State the facts as you understand them. Pin down the specifics of the complaints and then move immediately to solve the problems. Do not get caught up in being defensive or defending a co-worker. If a complaint is about you, explain how you could solve the problem. If a complaint is about someone else, suggest how you can help but do not encourage gossip.

Hypocrites

These people are full of insincere compliments and empty promises. Face to face, they are very friendly, supportive and agreeable. However, they are all talk and no action. They might say, "Any time you need help just ask." But when you need help, they are never there. They may compliment you on your work, but when you turn your back, they tell everyone else about their reservations. They have a need to be liked and they will go to any lengths to gain immediate approval from others. To cope with hypocrites, insist on honesty. If you catch them telling you one thing then saying something else, call them on it. Make them realise that you do not appreciate false compliments. Never let them make commitments they cannot keep.

Pessimists

These people never react favourably to any proposal. They always play the "devil's advocate"; saying whatever is proposed will never work. They have a knack for deflating enthusiasm and raising doubts. Their pessimism is infectious. To cope with a pessimist, you must avoid becoming one yourself. Express your own more optimistic and realistic outlook, but do not argue or elaborate. Pessimists will usually poke holes in any solution you propose. Although pessimists are often frustrating to deal with, they can be useful when you want to know the possible flaws in an idea.

Know-it-all’s

These people are often highly-productive. They can make careful plans and carry them out against many obstacles. However, their impressive productivity is balanced by their arrogance. They want you to believe that they are experts on everything. They enjoy impressing people with what they know and making everyone else feel like an idiot. They tend to crowd out others in a conversation and to embarrass those who make mistakes. To cope with know-it-all’s, listen respectfully to what they say and acknowledge if they are right. Never confront them directly if they are wrong. Ask questions or make suggestions which indirectly bring up your objections. Make sure you know what you are talking about if you discuss a matter with them. Catching you at fault will further inflate their egos.

Wafflers

These people are helpful but indecisive. They do not like to "bite the bullet", especially when decisions might cause problems for others. Cope with wafflers by walking them through the decision-making process step by step. Have them explain their reservations at each step. Listen for expressions which hint toward problems they are having. Help them examine the facts and propose solutions to their reservations. Once a decision is reached, get the waffler to take ownership by sharing some of the responsibility for acting in the decision.

Click here to view a video on dealing with difficult people.