The Meeting Of Negotiators

We will now explore what happens when two (or more) negotiators come together, each with their own style and approach.

When Tough meets Tough

It can be very entertaining to watch two toughies ‘fighting’ it out. Typically, their demands and tactics will escalate, and they will end up getting nowhere!

Each party will typically claim that an agreement couldn’t be reached because of the other’s unreasonable demands.

When Tough meets Pushover

The toughie will ‘win’ lots and give very little in return. They will have little concern about changing the agreement unilaterally in their favour or seeking to re-negotiate it for an even better deal.

The pushover will be intimidated and is unlikely to express their needs and wants. Their aim will be getting to the end of the negotiation as fast as possible with the least amount of ‘pain’.

When Tough Meets Collaborator

Tough negotiators are likely to persist and try multiple tactics to get around the collaborator – personal attacks and claims (wrongly) for reasonableness are high on their agenda.

Agreement on the first occasion is unlikely. The toughie is likely to walk away to think about new tactics for ‘round two’.

The collaborator will believe (correctly) that they are doing most of the work – not least by providing a way for the toughie to return to the negotiation without losing face and managing the multiple manoeuvres and tactics thrown at them.

The key to what will finally happen here is who has the greatest persistence.

A persistent collaborator will ensure that everyone will get a substantial amount of their (reasonable) needs and wants.

However, if the collaborator concedes ground to the toughie, the latter will seize on this as a weakness from which it is difficult to recover. The collaborator might then collapse under the verbal battering they receive.

A possibility here is that the parties agree not to agree, and the negotiation ends.

When Pushover meets Pushover

A very pleasant experience – perhaps frustrating, especially for those on the side-line. Lots of chatting and pleasantries!

However, there will be little progress on the negotiation because neither party will disclose too much for fear of causing offence.
So, the likelihood here is either a very basic agreement or frequent deferment to discuss it further.

When Pushover meets Collaborator

Since the spirit of the collaborator is that everyone’s needs and wants are identified:

Successful use of the collaborating technique should end with a sound agreement.
The pushover may, however, feel uncomfortable and seek to back out of a discussion – although they will find that hard to do in the face of such reasonableness. So again, lots of collaborative patience and (gentle) persistence will be required.

When Collaborator meets Collaborator

Everyone should be able to exchange all their tangibles and emotional negotiable.

We can say ‘all’ here because collaborators do not make unreasonable demands. It is possible that all parties will agree not to make an agreement.

People can change their styles many times during a single negotiation.