Sometimes we need to motivate people to join a negotiation. It is likely that any reluctance to negotiate is prompted by a person’s preferred style (e.g. that of a pushover) and/or a lack of personal benefit from giving up their time for the necessary discussion. For instance, you want to agree with your brother and sister a means of sharing financial support for your parents (whom you have been supporting exclusively for the last year). Your brother doesn’t want to get drawn into any discussion (being a pushover) and your sister sees nothing but financial worry for herself if she offers any help.
How can you motivate them to negotiate with you?
The clues to motivation are often in the emotional negotiables |
When talking about parents, nearly everyone will have some form of emotional tie: loving, being loved, respect, obligation, guilt, duty, etc. We can use this to identify their:
We might encourage the family to the negotiation with:
‘Mom and Dad are still very much in love and deserve to have many years together without worrying themselves over money – which we should try and help with.’ (Love, obligation.)
‘Mom and Dad never failed to come rushing in when we needed help – however difficult it was for them … now it’s our turn’. (Guilt and managing any reluctance to get involved.)
A positive WIIFM? “…is to be preferred over the negative alternative."
It will be difficult to motivate people to participate and then adhere to a negotiation if there is absolutely no gain or benefit for them.
Look again for a WIIFM?
If that still fails, the only obvious alternative is to adopt a tough negotiating style, rather like the street mugger who negotiates to steal my wallet in return for not harming me. Hardly a formula for success in most of the negotiations you will be involved in!
We can use the emotional negotiables to ease progress towards an agreement. We can also select a key motivator from the following:
Identify what the other parties need and want, and then present what you offer as fulfilling their motivations. |