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Saying No
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You have the right to say no to unreasonable requests, as well as to requests which are reasonable, but which you do not wish to grant.
It is important to be able to say no for the following reasons:
- It helps you not to become involved in situations you will later regret.
- It helps prevent you from being manipulated into doing something you did not want to do.
- It enables you to:
- make decisions instead of the other person.
- direct your life in that situation.
The Right to Say No
When someone asks you something, it is his right to make such a request. But you are under no moral obligation to grant all requests. Therefore, there is no reason to feel guilty when refusing a request. Any effort of the other person to manipulate you or make you feel uncomfortable is inappropriate and must be resisted.
You also have the right to procrastinate a decision if you are not sure at that moment how you feel about it.
Example: A sales lady wants to force a decision from of you while you are still with her and before you can compare the prices with the products of other businesses.
How to Refuse A Request
If you are presented with a request, do the following:
| If… | Then… |
| An unreasonable request is made (or a request which you do not wish to grant). | Say “No” clearly and decisively. |
| It is necessary. | Repeat your answer. |
| You feel you have been pestered enough. | Say “No, I do not want to do this, so I would appreciate it if you would not ask me again. My answer will remain the same.” |
Do not:
- Think up lame excuses
- Offer long explanations
Remember: When your “NO” does not sound final, the other person will feel that he has not convinced you yet and will ask once again.