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Self-assertive Behaviour
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Stephen Covey, in his book “The 7 Habits of highly effective people”, identifies powerful strategies that enhance self-assertive behaviour in everyday life. These strategies comprise:
- Win/Win
- Win/Lose
- Lose/Win
- Lose/Lose
- Win/Win or No Deal
Win/Win
Win/Win perceives life as co-operative and not competitive. It is a frame of mind that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human transactions. In this approach all parties benefit – the needs of all parties are satisfied. Put differently, there are no losers. Can you think of how this principle may apply in different life theatres?
Win/Lose
The alternative to Win/Win is Win/Lose. This approach is typified by an approach that, what is mine is mine and what is yours is negotiable. These characteristics are often found in authoritarian people who constantly want their own way at the expense of those around them. An example would be a husband who wants only his needs met at the expense of his wife and his children. This approach also finds application in the world of work. Why is this approach so ineffective? Can you think of any examples?
Lose/Win
Some people are programmed to think and behave in a Lose/Win way. This is often regarded as the victim mentality. People who are unable to assert themselves easily fall into a lose/win scenario. They allow the other to dominate at the expense of their own desires, needs, dreams and aspirations. Can you think of examples in this respect?
Lose/Lose
Lose/Lose scenarios are characterised by people who are, for the most part, inflexible, domineering and ego-centric. If parties come to a negotiation with an attitude of win/lose – where there is no place for concessions on either side, it often leads to a dead end or stale-mate. Can you think of examples in this respect?
Win/Win or No Deal
On certain rare occasions parties, for various reasons, fail to come to arrive at a negotiable settlement satisfactory to all. When basic principles and values are so far removed and difficult to reconcile a possible alternative would be to agree to not agree and hence, there is no deal.