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Providing Positive Feedback
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From time to time it is necessary to give positive or negative feedback to loved ones, colleagues or subordinates. This must be done with great care and diplomacy, remembering that people have the right to their individuality and integrity. This feedback should always be given confidentially and in privacy.
How to Give Positive Feedback
Procedure for criticising in a positive way:
| Step | Action | Example | Avoid … |
| 1 | Give feedback on observed behaviour and not on your interpretation of it or what you thought the person meant. | Say: “You held the pen so tightly your knuckles turned white." | “You were very aggressive." |
| 2 |
Describe what you saw and felt. Note: Do not condemn. |
Say: “When you began shouting, I felt upset." | “It was not a good idea to raise your voice." |
| 3 | Focus on behaviour which can be changed. | A constant tapping with a pencil can be stopped. | Telling someone whose head is shaking that it bothers you. |
| 4 | Decide which aspects are most urgent. Nobody can change everything at once. Concentrate on the major aspects. | ||
| 5 | Ask questions rather than make statements. In this way, the person is: Allowed to draw their own conclusions. Forced to think about the matter. The first four statements can all be reformulated in question form. | Ask questions such as “How could you have acted differently …”- “How do you think it looked to the candidate when you held your pencil so tightly your knuckles turned white?”- “How did she react when you started shouting?” | “You should rather have …” |
| 6 | Determine the rules in advance. Tell people against which criteria they will be evaluated. | In a training situation, they may be reassured that:- No feedback will be given to management.- They can feel free to air their views. | |
| 7 | Give feedback about: Everything the person has done well. Development areas. Important: The person must feel positive about his performance so that he can be motivated to improve his development areas. Note: The acknowledgement or praise given should be honest, appropriate and specific, otherwise it may be rejected. | A feedback session makes him feel humiliated and inadequate. Remember: This is counterproductive. | |
| 8 | Give feedback about specific behaviour or instances. Important: Do not express vague opinions about feelings or impressions. | Say: “I respect you for the hours of overtime you have put in to complete the report." | “You have a good attitude. ”Remember: You cannot repeat "a good attitude” but you can work overtime to complete something. |
| 9 | Be aware of people’s personal limitations. | Giving to much feedback too quickly. Result: Your victim will close like a clamp and all your input and good intentions will be wasted. | |
| 10 | Decide whether the input will be of any value before you give it. If it is not, rather be quiet. |
When you give positive criticism:
- Be specific
- Remain calm
- Avoid labelling, e.g. “You are childish”
- Stick to the point (“broken record”)
- Acknowledge the positive
- Focus on specific behaviour and not the entire person
- Empathise