Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a way of thinking, feeling, and acting, that implies that you accept, respect, trust, and believe in yourself. When you accept yourself, you can live comfortably with both your personal strengths and weaknesses without undue self-criticism. When you respect yourself, you acknowledge your own dignity and value as a unique human being. You treat yourself well in much the same way you would treat someone else you respect. Self-trust means that your behaviour and feelings are consistent enough to give you an inner sense of continuity and coherence despite changes and challenges in your external circumstances. To believe in yourself means that you feel you deserve the best – in satisfying your personal needs, aspirations and goals. To achieve a sense of your self-esteem level, think of someone (or imagine what it would be like to know someone) whom you fully accept, respect, trust and believe in. Now ask yourself to what extent you hold these attitudes toward yourself. Where would you place yourself on the following scale?

A fundamental truth about self-esteem is that it needs to come from within. When self-esteem is low, the deficiency creates a feeling of emptiness which you may try to fill. When the quest to fill your inner emptiness, by appropriating something from outside, and it becomes desperate, repetitive or automatic, you have what is called an addiction. Broadly defined, an addiction is an attachment to something or someone outside yourself that you feel you need, to provide a sense of inner satisfaction or relief. Frequently, this attachment substitutes as a preoccupation with a substance or activity for healthy human relationships. It may also substitute a temporary feeling of control or power for a more lasting sense of inner confidence and strength.

A healthy alternative to addiction is to work on building your self-esteem. Growing in self-esteem means developing confidence and strength from within. While still enjoying life fully, you no longer need to appropriate or identify with something or someone outside yourself to feel okay. The basis for your self-worth is internal. As such, it is much more lasting and stable.