Responding Skills/Actions

If you as the coach should find that there is some kind of conflict situation developing, the best way is to pay attention immediately before it becomes a problem that could jeopardise the coaching process.

Active Listening

Active listening is tuning into both content and feelings. You're listening with your eyes, ears and emotions; noticing body language and tone of voice; refraining from judgement; empathising with the speaker's feelings. You are participating actively - with both your words and your non-verbal actions.

Suspending Judgement

Suspension of judgement is about developing the ability to observe judgements (your own and those of others) from a neutral position, remaining detached and non-reactive. Why is this skill essential in active listening? No one likes to feel judged. Judgements shut down conversations and inhibit creative thinking. They undermine the very atmosphere that is required to encourage people to open up about causes of conflict and misunderstanding. Judgements limit our ability to listen.

Get in Touch with Your Own Feelings

An important component of conflict resolution involves only you - knowing how you feel and why you feel that way. It may seem you’re your feelings should already be obvious to you, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes we feel angry or resentful, but don’t know why. Other times, we feel that the other person isn’t doing what they ‘should,’ but we aren’t aware of exactly what we want from them, or if it’s even reasonable.

Reflecting Feelings

Reflecting feelings shows you have detected and can express how the person feels. The benefits are:

• The person feels that you understand both the content and the feeling behind the content.
• It reduces defensiveness.
• It defuses emotional situations by helping the person calm down and devotes energy to problem solving.

Practice Assertive Communication

Communicating your feelings and needs clearly is also an important aspect of conflict resolution. As you probably know, saying the wrong thing can be like throwing fuel on a fire, and make a conflict worse. The important thing to remember is to say what’s on your mind in a way that is clear and assertive, without being aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive. One effective conflict resolution strategy is to put things in terms of how you feel rather than what you think the other person is doing wrong, using ‘I feel’ statements.

Seek a Solution

Once you understand the other person’s perspective, and they understand yours, it’s time to find a resolution to the conflict - a solution you both can live with. The important thing is to come to a place of understanding and try to work things out in a way that’s respectful to all involved.