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More Techniques

Completion requirements

Reflecting entails a reasonably accurate rephrasing of the other person’s emotional attitude. Now it is not necessary to state your observation explicitly, but your statement should none the less be based on something the person said or indicated.

Do not use reflection to judge. Reflection will enable you to test for underlying feelings.

Typical reflection will start with: “It seems to me…”

Click here to watch a demonstration video on how effective good reflection is during challenging conversations.

Asking Open Ended Questions

The best way to double-check your understanding of what a source has said is to ask questions in order to clarify and amplify. Ask the person to repeat or rephrase his remarks.

Ask for additional information to amplify a point. Keep your questions polite and to the point.

Open-ended questions assist in further exploration of what was said. It will help you to gain a better understanding of the situation.

Open-ended questions typically will start with:

  • How…
  • What…
  • Tell me about…
  • Please explain…

Click here to view a demonstration on how to ask open ended questions.


A technique to help you to check if you understood what was said. If you want to check if you understood clearly, you can shortly summarise what you heard as “Is that what you have meant?”

Paraphrasing will typically start with:

“What I hear you saying is…”

Click here to view a video on paraphrasing.