Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the need to feel positive about yourself. It includes the ability to accept yourself and be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. The American comedian Woody Allen once remarked: ‘I’ve always had a wish to be somebody else…’ While Allen’s remarks are, of course, mere self-parody they do embody the opposite of a healthy self-regard. Self-regard represents not only an awareness of our strengths and weaknesses but an acceptance of ourselves as individuals. Self-regard is further associated with the following attributes:

• Self-confidence
• Self-adequacy
• Inner strength

Self-regard and self-esteem overlap somewhat. Self-esteem refers to the way we view ourselves. If we see ourselves as inferior to others, we are lacking in self-esteem. The attitude we have of ourselves may range from positive, to neutral or negative. People with low self-esteem often suffer from an inferiority complex. Personal attributes such as positive self-regard and positive self-esteem are closely associated with high levels of emotional intelligence. Why is this so? People who feel good about themselves seem to reflect emotions in the positive emotional register: these emotions include a general satisfaction with life and optimism. On the other hand, people who harbour unfavourable opinions of themselves are often given to more negative emotions such as depression or even destructive emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression.

How Do We Maintain Self-Regard

One way in which self-regard and self-esteem may be maintained is a belief in our own ability to succeed. A term that has been subject to much research is self-efficacy. Self-efficacy represents a belief/perception that they can cope with demands made on them. Research has found that people who are high on self-efficacy recover faster from operations, are more confident in their work environment and are happier all-round.

Answer ‘yes’ (√) or ‘no’ (X) to the following:

In general, I am over-critical of myself

When I make a mistake, I am very hard on myself

I often compare myself to other successful people

I set very high personal standards for myself

I sometimes dislike myself

I often feel inferior to other people

If you have answered YES to two or more questions, you may be suffering from an inferiority complex.

How to Improve Self-Esteem

Teaching yourself the following attitudes will go a long way in overcoming low self-esteem:

• I accept myself as I am
• I believe in myself
• I am interesting and intelligent
• When people pay me a compliment I thank them because I deserve it
• I treat myself as I would a good friend
• I take time off and focus on my good qualities
• I am unique and a very special person
• I am worthy of the love and affection of others
• I make a positive contribution to other people’s lives
• I hold myself in high regard
• If I make mistakes I learn from them – life is one big learning curve

Click here to view a video on how to build self-esteem.