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Self-Assertive Behaviour
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Your inability to assert yourself, for example, your inability to say no to unwanted demands or requests from others, can lead to high levels of stress.
Definition
Assertive behaviour allows individuals to act in their own best interest and allows them to express their beliefs, rights, opinions, ideas and desires without undue anxiety and without denying the rights of others. As we shall learn, assertive behaviour is often confused with aggressive behaviour.
Assertive behaviour comprises the following components:
- Not allowing others to take advantage of you
- Behaviour that is active, direct and honest
- Able to express feelings openly
- View one’s own needs as equal to those of others
- Able to work towards win-win outcomes
What Is Non-Assertive Behaviour?
Non-assertive behaviour is associated with passivity. Non-assertive people send signals of inferiority. They allow their needs and rights to be marginalised and, in the process, create loose-win situations. A non-assertive person usually ends up losing while allowing others to win. Non-assertive people are most often victims rather than winners.
What Is Aggressive Behaviour?
People often confuse assertiveness with aggressive behaviour. Nothing can be further from the truth. When people act aggressively, they convey an impression of disregard and disrespect. Aggressive people promote their own needs above those of others. They tend to be ‘pushy’ and self-centred. They behave like a bully and make sure that others ‘lose’. In the short-term aggressive people may succeed but in the long-term they are sure losers.