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Assertive Response Steps
Completion requirements
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If you follow these steps, you will be able to communicate your expectations or negative feelings briefly, specifically and in a non-judgmental manner:
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Step |
Action |
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1. |
Listen to what the other person is saying |
|
2. |
Empathise Try to understand how s/he is feeling Give acknowledgement Example: “I understand that you are angry” |
|
3. |
Obtain clarity about the issues Remember: Ask if you do not understand |
|
4. |
Be specific |
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5. |
Stick to the facts |
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6. |
Stick to the point Note: Be careful not to be distracted |
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7. |
Make “I” statements instead of “you” statements |
|
8. |
Say how you feel |
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9. |
Say what you require/expect |
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10. |
Negotiate a mutually acceptable solution |
Explanatory Statements
The following are tools for assertive communication:
- I (see/hear/feel/detect)…
- You (X) … do/say...
- It makes me feel (rejected/unhappy/angry/etc.)
- I should appreciate it if you could rather…